I write a lot about my God with no religion both here and in in my poems from time to time. However, I do have moments when I stop and worry that the Abrahamic God is real. That really frightens me because having spent something like a lifetime studying the Abrahamic texts, and not “cherry picking” that means that we basically have an evil God. That is very worrisome. I asked myself last night, how could we end up with a bad God? Why would we have a bad God? Then I thought about what little I know of astronomy. The universe is a violent place. Stars are exploding out there. Planets are dying. We have a greatly destructive universe and being part of that universe it makes sense that we would have a destructive Earth, and by extension, that would only mean one thing – that we have a destructive God.
The worst part of the Jewish and Christian texts is that if you look at the literature all together and not just what you like to be real and what you dismiss as history, then they describe life on Earth pretty well. Without being selective about Biblical texts, then they describe humanity pretty well. And that is not a good thing. It is not a good thing for the sake of humanity just as it is not a good thing for the reality of the kind of God we have.
I realize how this post sounds. Like a teenager who read a couple of violent lines out of the Bible and then made a rash decision right there on how they were going to think about God. Sorry folks. I spent decades doing real study. And wrote my master’s on the texts at Johns Hopkins and got an A. I am not just another disgruntled child. Because I know it is the evil in the world that works to prove that the Abrahamic God is real. Not the good things in the world. It is the reality of how people really are, that works to prove your Abrahamic God. And that is scary. And greatly depressing. But I also know it is just as likely that I only even think of the Abrahamic God because of those decades of study, and the imprint they left in my mind. It is no different than a sport to an athlete or a math problem for a physics teacher. You just know it.
If the Abrahamic God is real….I’m really sorry for what you won’t admit to yourselves. I’m so sorry.